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October 2012



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Oct. 3rd, 2012





So proud of my friend Tze and his band Josey for putting out this song and finally finishing this music video. This song is so important for our generation and age group, and it's really meaningful. I'm so impressed that my friends were able to write something that has such deep relevance and significance to us growing up. I feel nostalgic and happy and proud and hopeful when I listen to it, it's really great. I'm proud to have been in the music video and help film a certain percentage of it. It's just so great to finally see it out, and if you ever went to school with me, you should just watch this and hopefully it will help you smile and remember.

I'm going to write more soon. I'm feeling kind of contemplative. What does that even mean?

至今24 25才明白是小巫見大巫

music: 7AM - Josey

Aug. 25th, 2012


Carried Away

So this is what it's like to feel happier. Who knew?

My mind is only consumed with a few things:
  • Getting my driver's license
  • Getting my paperwork and VISA sorted out
  • Going on holiday to Hong Kong
  • Going on holiday to Los Angeles
  • Moving to New York
In the mean time, I have taken up contributing to a project that doesn't pay any money, even though it's fun. I'm hemmoraging money on life. Azealia Banks and I are two peas! "Broke with expensive taste."

I have problems putting the pieces together. I don't really know what I want these days. Although I have finished my two years in the army, somehow my life is still filled with themes of escapism and sadness until the day comes.

Insert word for the situation I do not know how to describe is present but fleeting. I don't know how to deal with this as it is new to me. What do people do in these situations? Everything is temporary, and we already knew that, but it is now amplified and I don't have an answer for what happens.

I miss March, ironically enough. I was truly happy for a while in March and it was beautiful. I was covered in the flood and I was okay with it.

Family is not okay, and I suspect will continue not to be from now on.

How did we get here and how do we move on? I can only suspect that leaving everything behind is the best answer.

music: Chris Carrabba
tags: life, update

Jun. 13th, 2012


Fuck yeah, we can live like this...

Well, I know no one reads this. But I'm still going to update. There's some sort of sick satisfaction in knowing no one's really gonna read any of the shit you put out into the universe, because you can kind of write whatever you want.

Nothing has been going on, except I've been trying to work on my Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Life To-Do List and not getting anywhere. Not because I'm not willing to do anything, but because it just isn't the right time yet. Whatever.

Instead of writing 2000 words, I'm just going to post 80something photos from 2 music festivals I went to in Melbourne, Australia in March. Soundwave Melbourne, which was on March 2, also known as my birthday. And Future Music Festival Melbourne, which was on March 11. Amazing times, and even though I was alone, I saw all these amazing bands I'd only ever dreamt about being able to see live before. And I didn't even care. It was such an insanely free and beautiful experience. Also, with music festivals, just because music is such a personal thing, I would never have been able to have a good time by seeing the exact bands that I wanted to see unless I was with my absolute music soulmate, or, more realistically, alone. So it was good. Plus I met Andrew McMahon and Chris Carrabba, who've been my heroes since I was a kid (13 or whatever).

These photographs were shot with a Horizon S3 Pro, which is a panoramic film camera. There are a couple that are totally and completely overexposed or underexposed, just because it was one of my first few times using the camera or I had completely forgotten what ISO of film I had loaded in there. However, I decided to post them anyway, not for anyone to judge me (not that anyone's reading this), but just because there's still some detail in there and I wanted to document it. So here goes.

Pics plz.

Okay bye!
music: Holiday From Real

Jun. 2nd, 2012



music: Spectrum (Say My Name) (Calvin Harris Radio Edit) - Florence + The Machine
tags: music

Jan. 1st, 2012


I don't know where we are going now.

The end of 2011 taught me a few things:
  • Life is short, and we should NEVER let anyone else decide for us what to do or how we should live. For everyone in bad situations, keep fighting for what you believe in and what you know is right. Don't let anyone try to dictate how the events of your life should play out. You are the only one in control. NEVER BACK DOWN!!
  • Spend some good time with your close friends. One day, things will change, and you won't get to spend the same amount of time, or even be in the same country or continent with them. You might regret not calling them up more often.
  • Don't bother being disappointed with disappointing people. Obviously they are not worth the effort, the exasperation, and most of all, they are not worth your time. It's time to move on and only spend time on things and people that are important to you.
  • Stop holding on to the ideas of certain people being in your life, especially if they don't want to be in your life. Don't be sad about it.
  • Learn to be happy. Even in the darkest of times. Keep holding on. There's only one way out.
  • I have to get out of here.

This is my from-before-2011 song of 20111. Well, of December, at least.

Happy New Year to anyone who's reading this.
music: Stereophonics - Dakota | Powered by Last.fm
tags: 2012, life

Nov. 14th, 2011


There's no stopping us right now


Oct. 17th, 2011


I walked along the shoreline where the elements collide

I should be sleeping because I'm going outfield tomorrow, but I can't sleep cause this song makes me too sad...
tags: music

Sep. 11th, 2011


Lying down...

This song is December 2006 for me. I miss Melbourne, I miss the people there, the places there, the vibe there, everything.
tags: music

Sep. 5th, 2011



I've been sitting here listening to Motorcycle Drive By by Third Eye Blind (the saddest song about NYC ever) and trying to make some kind of sense of everything that's going on in my life.

Is it because I've finally hit the one-year mark of being a soldier? Is it because I finally realised that I'm home? I don't know. But I've been so jaded ever since coming home. Nothing feels the same, nothing is what it's supposed to be. I should be out there but I'm stuck in here, you know.

I just don't feel good. I'm supposed to feel okay when I'm trapped in a horrible place every single day. While I sit alone in a small office with not a single person to talk to from 8am to 5.30pm, having lunch by myself, only having the voice in my head to talk to for 9.5 hours. Is that supposed to be normal? Am I supposed to not feel bleak? How the fuck am I supposed to make it through the next 331 days?

There is light at the end of the tunnel but right now it's so fucking DIM and unattainable. Nothing is certain about what's going to happen 331 days from now. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do what I need to do and be where I need to be.

It doesn't feel good to be here anymore. The places we used to go, the things we used to do, the people we used to see. None of them matter and none of them make sense. Why?

I keep asking myself that question.

I find it so hard to be happy. It has never been more difficult in my life.

I'm a shell of who I used to be.

When will everything be okay again?

tags: life

Sep. 4th, 2011


They're taking me in increments.

I re-uploaded this on YouTube just because Vimeo can be slow and unfamiliar. I miss this city so much. Especially after watching Smurfs last night! I've grown weary of life back home. There's only slight highs and countless lows and never any true joy. 11 months to go. Will we make it?
mood: sad
location: Singapore, Singapore

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