January 2012

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Jan. 1st, 2012

BLOW HEAD OFF

I don't know where we are going now.

The end of 2011 taught me a few things:
  • Life is short, and we should NEVER let anyone else decide for us what to do or how we should live. For everyone in bad situations, keep fighting for what you believe in and what you know is right. Don't let anyone try to dictate how the events of your life should play out. You are the only one in control. NEVER BACK DOWN!!
  • Spend some good time with your close friends. One day, things will change, and you won't get to spend the same amount of time, or even be in the same country or continent with them. You might regret not calling them up more often.
  • Don't bother being disappointed with disappointing people. Obviously they are not worth the effort, the exasperation, and most of all, they are not worth your time. It's time to move on and only spend time on things and people that are important to you.
  • Stop holding on to the ideas of certain people being in your life, especially if they don't want to be in your life. Don't be sad about it.
  • Learn to be happy. Even in the darkest of times. Keep holding on. There's only one way out.
  • I have to get out of here.

This is my from-before-2011 song of 20111. Well, of December, at least.

Happy New Year to anyone who's reading this.
 
 
music: Stereophonics - Dakota | Powered by Last.fm
tags: 2012, life

Nov. 14th, 2011

PERKS

There's no stopping us right now



WATCH MY NEW VIDEO
 
 

Oct. 17th, 2011

PERKS

I walked along the shoreline where the elements collide



I should be sleeping because I'm going outfield tomorrow, but I can't sleep cause this song makes me too sad...
 
 
tags: music

Sep. 11th, 2011

PERKS

Lying down...



This song is December 2006 for me. I miss Melbourne, I miss the people there, the places there, the vibe there, everything.
 
 
tags: music

Sep. 5th, 2011

BLOW HEAD OFF

Lobotomized.

I've been sitting here listening to Motorcycle Drive By by Third Eye Blind (the saddest song about NYC ever) and trying to make some kind of sense of everything that's going on in my life.

Is it because I've finally hit the one-year mark of being a soldier? Is it because I finally realised that I'm home? I don't know. But I've been so jaded ever since coming home. Nothing feels the same, nothing is what it's supposed to be. I should be out there but I'm stuck in here, you know.

I just don't feel good. I'm supposed to feel okay when I'm trapped in a horrible place every single day. While I sit alone in a small office with not a single person to talk to from 8am to 5.30pm, having lunch by myself, only having the voice in my head to talk to for 9.5 hours. Is that supposed to be normal? Am I supposed to not feel bleak? How the fuck am I supposed to make it through the next 331 days?

There is light at the end of the tunnel but right now it's so fucking DIM and unattainable. Nothing is certain about what's going to happen 331 days from now. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do what I need to do and be where I need to be.

It doesn't feel good to be here anymore. The places we used to go, the things we used to do, the people we used to see. None of them matter and none of them make sense. Why?

I keep asking myself that question.

I find it so hard to be happy. It has never been more difficult in my life.

I'm a shell of who I used to be.

When will everything be okay again?

 
 
tags: life

Sep. 4th, 2011

BLOW HEAD OFF

They're taking me in increments.



I re-uploaded this on YouTube just because Vimeo can be slow and unfamiliar. I miss this city so much. Especially after watching Smurfs last night! I've grown weary of life back home. There's only slight highs and countless lows and never any true joy. 11 months to go. Will we make it?
 
 
mood: sad
location: Singapore, Singapore

Sep. 2nd, 2011

PERKS

It's like we just can't help ourselves.



If you have the time, check out my short "film"!
 
 
music: Snow Patrol - Called Out In The Dark

Aug. 28th, 2011

ANGELA LOL

PART 3: Right under my feet is air made of bricks.


SHOW ME YOUR TEETH! )

Finished on SUNDAY 2:37AM / Posted on SUNDAY 8:53PM. That sure took a while. Hahah

Congratulations if you made it to the end! E-cookie for you!

PS thanks to [info]yokoshy for lending me her camera and enduring the shittiness of my old one for 2 weeks. Thanks beeyotch!

Bye!
 
 
music: Foster The People - Helena Beat
Waaaaaaaaambulance

PART 2: I'm on your side, but only for a while, of course.

 
 
music: Foster The People - Helena Beat
BLOW HEAD OFF

PART 1: You're placing a big blind bet on the underdog.

THIS IS A PHOTODUMP POST. I only split it into 3 parts because I dumped too many photos into one entry. Oops.

On the 6th of August this year, I left for New York City. I was really super excited to leave my entire shitty life behind and experience new things. I was hating almost everything and had been really busy and I just needed a break. It was really nice to get out!

 
 
music: Foster The People - Helena Beat

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